Comments on: 2 Kinds of Lonely Feelings and How to Cope With Them

By: Barbara

Barbara — Sat, 23 Mar 2024 14:43:42 +0000

I know I suffer from this but I have no significant other or children which are the relationships the book deals with. I live in a Continuting Care Community with 300 other people and still feel lonely although I am very active within the community. How do I start to build real relationships?

By: Victoria

Victoria — Fri, 07 May 2021 22:38:26 +0000

I had a particularly terrible case of Chidlhood neglect, my mother was a very educated psychopath and my father had severe empathy deficits, he has aspergers but also forms of tyrannical personality disorder. I had no brothers or sisters, then my stepfather came along- very abusive. Severe depression all my life. I finally treated myself and i got better but it was via tons of research – i realized for me SSRIS and SNRIs weren’t working as CNE makes it so i am pathologically lonely…( Self love deficiency) so i now use Suboxone ( i once even lied and said i was a drug addict to get on it ) but now my doctor prescribes it and it’s a godsend..i don’t get high..i use low dosage 2mg – x2 a day and it just makes me feel i can weather life so much easier. it makes sense- an opiate – to heal the opiate system of the brain which to me was clearly damaged – as the other side i use cymbalta ( SSrI ) but it never worked enough. Now I am ok alone. but what a horrible life…i share this for those with worst case scenarios- because i did everything possible to get better – travelled the world, Post grad school, took up spiritual life, endless meditation, rosaries pilates ( instructor i became ) and vegan and therapy but nothing worked. they do know the brain is changed after CNE – damaged if you will.. I also have Add -and learning disabilities in math. nobody should suffer as I have, I do think medication for me was the solution but truly people need community and more support groups as this is one terrible affliction / burden to carry alone.

By: TAL

TAL — Mon, 09 Mar 2020 16:51:08 +0000

In the past I have stopped a relationship before they could stop it on me…. justifying that when they found out who I really am they would break up with me anyway. I have been so lonely. I am putting a huge amount of energy into meeting men for a hopeful life partner but I’m worried to death that I will look for reasons to break up before they can break up with me. Aughhh. How do I not be my worst enemy?

By: Eunice

Eunice — Sun, 08 Mar 2020 07:38:03 +0000

I remember when I was at university I had a part time job on a Saturday. Afterwards as I was on the bus I would be looking out seeing other people enjoying each other’s company, making the most of London and I do desperately wanted that. However I had no one to do that with, my two housemates weren’t into going out. I would try my best to hide my tears and also cry once I got home into my room. Almost every week. Now I work Fridays felt like that. However I started doing things on my own (travelling, going to the cinema , concerts) and go to a running club on Saturday, I don’t think I’ve felt like that for a long time. However often times after a concert I’ve had so much fun I’m buzzing and want to carry on the night by going for drinks (non alcoholic as on a year break), but then I realise I’m alone. Even on holiday, well the first part I had met someone but even when we were together I didn’t always have the words to make conversation. However when he left I had been so attached to him (there was another girl but she left) that I felt so alone and thought is there something wrong with me, did I miss the boat in life on friendship. On this holiday someone asked if I live under a rock. Second person within the last 1 year that’s said that too me. Sometimes I feel my interests are just so out there that no one really understands me. Will I ever find a partner compatible enough for us to be. I can think of one but then he didn’t share my faith so it couldn’t work. Now none to very slim pickings. I try and convince myself that it’s ok you don’t need companionship, starve that desire.

By: Rodney Fuller

Rodney Fuller — Sat, 15 Feb 2020 02:58:01 +0000

The solution for loneliness caused by CEN is identifying it and sharing the feelings with others.

By: Jonice

Jonice — Fri, 20 Dec 2019 16:20:35 +0000

In reply to Infran. Dear Infran, I did not say, or mean, that living alone = lonely. It's just a possible risk factor for many.

By: Jonice

Jonice — Fri, 20 Dec 2019 16:12:14 +0000

In reply to Michelle. I'm glad too Michelle. Thanks for sharing.

By: Jonice

Jonice — Fri, 20 Dec 2019 16:11:48 +0000

In reply to Anna. Dear Anna, I am not saying everyone feels the same. Those are only examples of possible ways one could feel. And none of it is pitiful or weird!

By: Jonice

Jonice — Fri, 20 Dec 2019 16:10:08 +0000

In reply to Rodney. I'm glad you're expressing your feelings more. It sounds like cultivating some new friendships will be needed.

By: Jonice

Jonice — Fri, 20 Dec 2019 16:09:05 +0000

In reply to Mark. Dear Mark, please seek couple's therapy. This sounds like a very painful situation.