Comments on: 3 Powerful New Years Resolutions Specially Designed To Heal Your Emotional Neglect

By: Jonice

Jonice — Mon, 11 Jan 2021 13:00:18 +0000

In reply to Yonita. Dear Yonita, you are describing self-centeredness, whereas I am talking about self-awareness. They are extremely different. Being aware of your feelings, wants, and needs, allows you to manage your feelings and make choices that take others into account as well.

By: Jonice

Jonice — Mon, 11 Jan 2021 12:59:06 +0000

In reply to Anna. Dear Anna, it's hard to discipline adult kids, and especially so when you don't have a good ability to discipline yourself. I encourage you to contact a CEN-trained therapist from my Find A CEN Therapist List and let someone help you through this problem. It's not as simple as just beginning to discipline your kids. Some support and guidance are essential. All my best to you!

By: Jonice

Jonice — Mon, 11 Jan 2021 12:54:44 +0000

In reply to GWOR. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, GWOR. Happy 2021!

By: Yonita

Yonita — Mon, 11 Jan 2021 06:44:52 +0000

Does this not make one seem to be very selfish? Someone said of my husband ‘ one could never tell him anything. Referring to his actions; he did things his own way without referencing anyone else. If one acknowledges ones own feelings is that not going to turn into those sort of actions. I was unaware of what motivated him. And was kept in the dark.

By: Anna

Anna — Mon, 11 Jan 2021 05:25:59 +0000

Hi Jonice, I definitely have CEN from both parents, I planned to stop the cycle, but kept going psychotic and into hospital, started drinking and my 2 children were removed for a couple of years. I have now been sober 9 years.However I have notdisciplined them or given boundaries as I planned. This makes me very sad. My kids live with me, daughter 24 has schizoaffective disorder, same as me, my son, 19 tries to be helpful around the house but I feel he has no empathy for me, I work 5 days a week as health carer. My son’s girlfriend,19 and my niece,17 also live with me. I don’t get enough help around the house,they expect me to do it. Is it too late to give them boundaries and discipline? I am terrified of conflict. I have asked nicely but I’m ignored,I end up doing household chores on my breaks from work and my days off.I’m49 single mum. I’ve told them I think I’ve given themCEN,I’m open and honest with them about my past failings with them. I lack self discipline, however I am disciplined to work hard at my job and do housework.My parents taught me that, but my feelings were completely ignored, still are, my mum passed in 2011, I hardly cried we were not close,I struggle to find happy memories as there was NO emotional relationship . She did her best and supported us financially, and always said ‘I love you’ but I could NEVER go to her for support or advice, same with my dad,2 good friends passed recently and no comfort really. He gave me a hug,
since he happened to be here. He never asks how I feel, he never rings or texts me and he lives in a different city. I can’t talk to him about anything that affects me. He does help me financially, at Christmas he gave me $2000. He is a practical person.Question: how do I discipline young adult children and get them to help out.Thanks

By: GWOR

GWOR — Mon, 11 Jan 2021 04:27:18 +0000

Hi Jonice, it seems until we truly feel we are genuine the road up the hill gets steeper .

And the mask does not allow the needed interactions we need now in COVID19 times to confirm within ourselves we are genuine so we must call upon our own reserves to make it so.
We must wear our own insulated vest of self regard .

The people factor now can be totally disruptive in every interaction with self and others . One must be his/ her own beacon in the lighthouse to shine one’s light to charter and keep their course uninterrupted by others .There are always rocks anywhere to negotiate.

Yes I have seen instances where the expression echoed to me “ oh you seem to be feeling your oats today “ is really designed to send a person back into a war with self, to turtle , to be sheepish so the other keeps the control.

The best answer to the battery drainer is “yes , I am feeling my oats today, what about yours?”
Do you need your your battery charged?

“ And by the way we are wasting time let’s get at this project now due by week ending on time and right.

Wear them, until they are warren out and disarm them until they lose their centre or core being relegated way out beyond their own circumference of safety and lost to return as they once had control by bullying and now disarmed they may threaten to leave . And you wish them a good day and get on with the project with or without the udder they like to milk anyone dry to keep their power and control .

And after the “ my that felt good” is sinking in, it is one step to sensing yes I am genuine and each step is now of added value to the self that this is who I am and it is okay to feel right about feeling right about self .

And the road starts to level out ……….no matter the journey ahead . Just do it and find your roads for you. And just get on with it …..

By: Jonice

Jonice — Mon, 11 Jan 2021 00:07:39 +0000

In reply to Madeleine. I'm glad. Happy 2021, Madeleine.

By: Madeleine

Madeleine — Sun, 10 Jan 2021 20:39:26 +0000

Thank you Jonice, always helpful. I will write these down.

By: Patty Jean

Patty Jean — Thu, 04 Jan 2018 18:12:18 +0000

In reply to Jonice Webb PhD. Thank you. The article on Compassionate Accountability really resonated with me. I guess that's just where I am right now. And I purchased your book. (See...I'm not a troll!)

By: Jonice Webb PhD

Jonice Webb PhD — Thu, 04 Jan 2018 16:00:44 +0000

In reply to Patty Jean. That's very understandable Patty. Please look for my description of Compassionate Accountability. I wrote a previous blog about it, and it's also described in detail in my book, Running on Empty. I wrote it to help CEN folks to walk the line between holding themselves accountable while also having compassion for themselves.