Comments on: 3 Surprising Reasons People Feel Lonely on Valentine’s Day

By: Sazia

Sazia — Thu, 18 Feb 2021 05:27:48 +0000

I got into a relationship that was truthful for the first time. I had a great time with my partener because he (imma girl) was like me I mean he had almost the same views as me. We did differ and he did respect those. But some time later my parents, in fact, found out that I’m in a relationship and made me promise by the Quran ( our Holy Book), not break relations with him as a lover. My partner did understand what happened but I noticed soon after we started running into conflicts and I sometimes feel he is kind of like my parents, maybe a low grade form of. What do I do now??? Like do I move on ? Do I attach? Why do I feel so guilty moving on ? We still talk but not as lovers. So, do I not talk ? He’s the only one I poured out my heart to. He isn’t of the type that he’s gonna use my info against me but still I’m hell confused about this relationship. Please help.

By: Jonice

Jonice — Mon, 15 Feb 2021 19:15:45 +0000

In reply to Dee. Dear Dee, we do, unfortunately, tend to attract people who represent to our unconscious minds our experiences with our own parents. I encourage you to spend some time focusing on yourself and your feelings as the beginning of the path to changing the kind of people who end up in your life.

By: Jonice

Jonice — Mon, 15 Feb 2021 19:12:51 +0000

In reply to Richard. That's very kind of you to say, Richard. Thank you!

By: Jonice

Jonice — Mon, 15 Feb 2021 19:11:53 +0000

In reply to Bridget. Excellent work, Bridget. And thank you for your helpful words for Richard.

By: Jonice

Jonice — Mon, 15 Feb 2021 19:10:34 +0000

In reply to Maria. I'm so glad to be helpful, Maria. Keep up the good work!

By: Jonice

Jonice — Mon, 15 Feb 2021 19:09:51 +0000

In reply to Charlotte H. Dear Charlotte, thank you so much for sharing your realizations and experiences with us. I'm proud of you for figuring out some very important aspects of how to make yourself happy.

By: Dee

Dee — Mon, 15 Feb 2021 18:36:43 +0000

I have had to break all connections with people who were closet to me, repeating the same painful relationship dynamics with me being there for them, in between accepting comments that were degrading, then supposed to act like nothing happened, if I spoke up I was ignored, hung up on, treated like garbage in return. When I desperately needed them I got nothing. I saw I was relating in ways that weren’t healthy, ways I learned in childhood growing up with narcissist codependent parents. I was the invisible child at times the scapegoat with 3 other siblings. Father took every opportunity to tell me I wouldn’t mount to anything and compared me to my older sister, praising she while putting me down. I was the sensitive one too.
I knew deep inside the few people I was hanging onto were not good for me, having narc traits, all about themselves when they spoke, etc., but it was all I had. Finally had enough and slowly let them go. Now I have no one. I don’t think I ever had a person outside of myself there for me emotionally or that treated me with the value and respect I deserve. They don’t own up to things they do even when I speak up about it. I’m now 50, it’s very hard to heel and grow with no support and this has always been a challenge, and why I would stumble and fall down, many times throughout my life, all the way down into a depression before I could pick myself up to the minimal to keep going in life. I don’t think I’ve gotten far at all in overcoming my issues which is why I haven’t gotten far in life as well. I don’t know how I’m still alive and often times wish I wasn’t here, especially with what’s currently going on in the world, restrictions on living and interacting.
I don’t know why I just don’t meet healthier people

By: Richard

Richard — Mon, 15 Feb 2021 14:23:18 +0000

In reply to Jonice. Thank you Jonice for this excellent advice that I will not only take to heart but also do my very best to apply. I hope you had a good valentines day. You certainly deserve to with all the work you do helping other people to find their strength and help themselves.

By: Elizabeth

Elizabeth — Mon, 15 Feb 2021 13:51:28 +0000

In reply to Ray. Hi Ray I totally get the high IQ as an isolating factor, together with the attendant over-excitabilities (cf Dabrowski), indeed, being a rare bird has its challenges. But I have found that I can connect through emotions, and even more importantly, I can connect to parts of myself through emotions, so attending to my CEN did pay off big time. And no, I don’t dumb down, but neither, do I impose my intellectual and other excitabilities on others. Good luck!!

By: Bridget

Bridget — Mon, 15 Feb 2021 11:21:32 +0000

In reply to Richard. Your comment ressonated so much with me. I have also struggled with depression and suicidal thoughts for years. I had a breakthrough this weekend- though- I think it all comes from a place of unworthiness. I have subconsciously tried to find reasons to dislike myself. Trying to find reasons why I am not worthy of love. Not even for myself. The hardest work I do now, is trying to befriend myself. To have an unconditional love towards myself. Yes, I am imperfect, I make mistakes, sometimes I even hurt others- but that does not justify me to hate myself. I can (try to) allow myself to make mistakes (as everybody does), and STIILL regard myself as worthy- and completely love and forgive myself- no matter what. Thanks, Jonice- for helping me on my way to self- love.