Dear Anne, remember that accessing your feelings is a process. It takes daily attention, tuning in, and doing the Identifying & Naming Exercise in the book Running On Empty. The key is to keep chipping away that wall until inklings of feelings start coming through.

Wow. Thank you Doug for taking the time for such a clear and thoughtful response. You helped me understand the self package.
Just last year, after many years of self-berating and validation seeking woke-up to the reality of myself and a long term dysfunctional relationship.
Self-acceptance and seeing truth around myself and relationships has wrought a deep shift in my being.
I have recently come to face my self-neglect. But in exploring self-care you have opened my eyes to yet another level per say, self actualization. Thank you immensely.

That was a great comment Doug and I can relate to some of the things you said. Looking back I didn’t get the emotional “nutrition” I needed growing up and looked for it outside. People pleasing was something I did to get others’ approval and acceptance. It’s like when the puppy gets a pat on the head! You feel valuable! I realised finally that I matter, my thoughts matter, my lifestyle choices matter and my self care matters and that I don’t need anybody else’s approval or permission to achieve these things.

Dear Katie, I’m so glad to have offered you some answers. I suggest you join my newsletter and read both of my books to start with. You are at the beginning of a great journey.

Dear Pam, thank you for your caring and supportive message to Evita. You make some excellent points!

Thank you, Doug. All so heartfelt and true, and so well-said.