Comments on: 9 Things the Emotionally Attuned Parent Says to Their Child

By: Kat

Kat — Fri, 08 Oct 2021 23:26:04 +0000

Oh, the irony. I did the work after being raised by the WORST abusive man and distant mom (see below)

I was a great mom & can honestly say I didn’t invalidate their feelings. I knew what it was like so I started from when they were born. I told them I loved them whenever I dropped them off somewhere or they went to bed and hugged them often. My ex- began to engage in splitting behavior when my eldest was a pre-teen and was very abusive to me. I filed divorce, he hired a “Family Advocate” who threw me out of my kids’ lives because I’d worked on my childhood abuse. 10 years on I cry every day for how they’ve been hurt. (Will a course on my CEN do me any good then?)

Dad had charming refrains: “are you calling me a liar‽” (no, but you’re wrong), stonewalling (fine with me; I had 0 to say to him), outright laughing at me for asking him to not smoke in the car, near the kitchen … My mom: Stop being a H**** (bipolar neighbor) when I was upset, shrug when I’d confide in her, let my elder sister steal from me or destroy hand-me-downs (father spent all $$ on himself so we were functionally poor) “because they’re too nice for K”, bought food mostly based on what my eldest sister & dad liked. I don’t remember ever going out and buying clothes other than shoes.

By: Duncan

Duncan — Wed, 02 Jun 2021 09:37:34 +0000

Beautiful, thank you Jonice and all who share their stories, so inspiring.

By: Jonice

Jonice — Tue, 01 Jun 2021 12:43:29 +0000

In reply to Maggie. Dear Maggie, I'm so happy to hear about the wonderful work you're doing on yourself and with your daughter. I love nothing more than to help parent/child relationships become more connected and emotionally aware, as this can make a profound difference in the lives of both child and parent. Keep it up!

By: Jonice

Jonice — Tue, 01 Jun 2021 12:38:43 +0000

In reply to Kathy. I'm so glad, Kathy. Take care of yourself!

By: Maggie

Maggie — Tue, 01 Jun 2021 07:35:29 +0000

Hi Dr jonice. Thank you so much for your amazing articles. You have helped me to understand why my beautiful and only daughter is distant with me. Through reading your books however I am learning how to communicate in a better way with her. I’m very much hoping to repair our relationship and become close. My husband and I adore our only girl, but sadly we both grew up with emotional neglect and only now I am realising what has gone wrong for us as a family. Your work is life changing and I am so grateful for having found you on the internet. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Maggie, uk.

By: Kathy

Kathy — Mon, 31 May 2021 14:07:16 +0000

I am soon to meet with my mother after not speaking for a year. This article is so perfect for explaining my situation to someone who hasn’t done any self-work and who isn’t aware of CEN. Your book and articles have been invaluable to me as a parent.

By: Richard

Richard — Mon, 31 May 2021 07:39:10 +0000

In reply to Jonice. Thank you so much Dr Webb. I wish you every success with the absolutely crucial work you do

By: Jonice

Jonice — Mon, 31 May 2021 00:21:35 +0000

In reply to Richard. Dear Richard, thank you for sharing your own experience with your family's treatment of your feelings. I'm glad you're able to see the deep impact of it and I hope you will continue to heal yourself.

By: Rosie

Rosie — Sun, 30 May 2021 22:40:37 +0000

In reply to U.

Wow you need to read Dr Jonice’s books and stuff more widely. There’s loads of help here for those of us pulling ourselves out of the CEN quagmire.

It’s so easy to criticise isn’t it. I’m sorry you went through it all too. There are solutions here, and you do have to do the work. You and your life are worth the effort.

By: Jen

Jen — Sun, 30 May 2021 22:27:43 +0000

My father was a sociopath. He had a habit/hobby of saying mean things to/about me and others, and he would watch how I/others responded to the nastiness. Like it was a form of entertainment.
My mother’s mantra was, “I don’t want to hear about it!”
I’m thinking, my being a sensitive, emotional child, made for a trifecta. I’d have done better someplace else. They’d have done better not having children.
Too late. And I think U was not being fair. You have a great many articles for us “Grown-up-now what?s'” in the healing stage of post-childhood. This one just happened to be for those actively parenting.
It still helps. More information on what we didn’t get and the end result.