Comments on: An Obstacle to The 5 Stages of Grief: Emotional Neglect From Childhood

By: Jonice Webb PhD

Jonice Webb PhD — Tue, 24 Jan 2017 18:14:06 +0000

In reply to z. Z, thank you for the effort you put into collecting these articles. Readers, please be advised that the research debunks the notion that everyone follows a formulaic progression that is a "right way" to grieve. But in my experience, the majority of mental health professionals including myself do find these various stages helpful as a way to understand and normalize grieving for many people.

By: Jonice Webb PhD

Jonice Webb PhD — Tue, 24 Jan 2017 17:00:32 +0000

In reply to z. Hi Z, your comment went into spam filter because it had links in it. I'll publish it now!

By: z

Tue, 24 Jan 2017 09:31:37 +0000

In reply to H.W.. i provided an extensive list but it didn't make it through the moderation....

By: z

Mon, 23 Jan 2017 04:10:09 +0000

In reply to H.W..

with pleasure

http://jamanetwork.com/journals/jama/fullarticle/205661

http://thetruthaboutgrief.com/

https://www.amazon.com/Other-Side-Sadness-Science-Bereavement/dp/0465021905

http://go.galegroup.com/ps/anonymous?id=GALE%7CA182976246&sid=googleScholar&v=2.1&it=r&linkaccess=fulltext&issn=10639330&p=AONE&sw=w&authCount=1&isAnonymousEntry=true

http://psycnet.apa.org/journals/ccp/57/3/349/

https://books.google.com.au/books?hl=en&lr=&id=apBoAgAAQBAJ&oi=fnd&pg=PA438&dq=stages+of+grief+myth&ots=73FaovF0tS&sig=NcOs-Zp92J0HHlsbwRupnvv7RPI#v=onepage&q&f=false

https://books.google.com.au/books?hl=en&lr=&id=8DlS0gfO_QUC&oi=fnd&pg=PT18&dq=stages+of+grief+myth&ots=pLKDT1FvNq&sig=pFSetZcI9RG_cKQ194oMVo1xSZ0#v=onepage&q=grief&f=false

make google scholar your friend 🙂

this is interesting too:

http://journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10.1177/1066480706294031

By: zonie

zonie — Fri, 20 Jan 2017 01:10:50 +0000

In reply to zonie. PS.. the quote I shared above was taken from "Journey Through Grief.com" and it should close quotes just prior to (then they are catalogued...)

By: zonie

zonie — Fri, 20 Jan 2017 01:07:00 +0000

Not sure what all the fuss is. No one (and I don’t hear the author of this article) said that the stages of grief are hard and fast. They are a framework, and while Rick is partially correct about the Kubler Ross sentiments.. it’s only a small part of the story. Here’s another part and it’s basically what Dr. Webb said. “In her final book On Grief and Grieving Elizabeth Kubler-Ross comments on how the grief stages were very misunderstood in the three decades between books. She says, “They were never meant to tuck messy emotions into neat packages. They are responses to loss that many people have, but there is not a typical response to loss, as there is no typical loss. (27)”
She says these stages are tools to help us frame and identify what we may be feeling as a result of various losses in our lives. They are not stops on a linear timeline and not everyone goes through all of them. Here are the Kubler Ross stages of grief: (then they are catalogued as we know them to be.) so the point is… before these were given to the field.. there was no framework with which to approach this foggy process. We all know it’s helpful to feel like you are not alone or unique.. and foremost, these stages did that.. and made things seem a little more management. It gave a “name” to some of the feelings. Let’s not get so nit picky.. that this construct that has been of help to so many.. is trashed. Yes, it’s not perfect.. but it’s been of help. This was a good article.

By: KJK

KJK — Thu, 19 Jan 2017 18:45:23 +0000

In reply to Jonice Webb PhD. While I am not an expert, I can state undoubtedly that I went through all stages of grief during my divorce with denial being one of the most confusing stages. I was blindsided by the divorce and could not even comprehend that it was happening. That is why I think denial is a defense mechanism that lasts until you are able to accept the situation. I have seen denial in other people in times of grief. A friend's son was killed in a car accident a few years back. The days leading up to the funeral, she(the mother) acted like nothing had happened and was her typical cheerful self. I remember seeing her a week after the funeral and she was overcome with grief. It took her a long time to get to the acceptance stage.

By: Rick Bissler

Rick Bissler — Thu, 19 Jan 2017 18:38:07 +0000

The use of the “Stages of Grief” it totally inaccurate. My wife and I are members of the Association for Death Education and Counseling (ADEC). In a conversation my wife had with Dr. Kubler-Ross, she was most troubled because that is not what her book is about. Here is a quote from her book’s web site: “First, On Death and Dying was never a study of grief and bereavement. It was a discussion of some key emotional reactions to the experience of the dying.”

By: Jenn

Jenn — Thu, 19 Jan 2017 16:42:04 +0000

In reply to swestey. Swestey, I feel your pain and anger. I too was raised by a woman who was raised to think that she deserved all of the best and that I failed her miserably. I too had a father who worked 3 jobs to keep my mother satisfied financially. I too am now taking care of my mom while working a full time job. My mother has the audacity to charge me to live with her even though I am her main caregiver. My other siblings are bogged down in marriages and relationships and the sister that would help me passed away 6 years ago along with my father 10 years ago. I don't have an answer. I just wanted you to know that I know what it's like. I just try to stay positive and keep a smile on my face. I also help my patients at work which has saved my life. I go to a psychiatrist, take an anti-depressant and take good care of myself as I have an autoimmune disease myself. It's a very difficult life but you are not alone.

By: zonie

zonie — Thu, 19 Jan 2017 13:58:51 +0000

In reply to Judy. Judy, what a great post expanding the concept of denial. I did my master's paper on denial - and this is so well put.