Comments on: Are You Living Life On The Outside?

By: Kate

Kate — Mon, 19 Oct 2020 17:25:06 +0000

In reply to Brian. That is an interesting point. I am the youngest with a large gap between me and the others, who were 14 months apart. They all seemed to be on the same page and I was just a footnote. As the youngest I was always told I was so spoiled yet my older sister was the one that got all our parents attention by rebelling. Wonder how many other “babies” of the family feel like outsiders?

By: Brian

Brian — Wed, 01 Nov 2017 21:29:14 +0000

Just a random thought. I just found your webpage thanks to a post on facebook a few days ago. While I’m skeptical of everything, this rang so true to me. I’m excited to get your book and start learning more about this. The question I have. Have you noticed this more prevalently in the youngest child of the family? I only ask because I notice so many people around me who are the youngest seem to have similar feelings to what I have experienced over the years. Most recently, when we moved, a new little 6 year old boy who started playing with my son seems completely neglected due to a 10 year gap between him and his next oldest sibling. He often comes to our house bored that no one will play with him at home. At first we were a bit annoyed to be the default babysitter for him. but then we learned, at 6 years old, he can’t read. As time progressed, I got a position in church working with youth. His older siblings seem well connected and well adjusted, much more than him. My wife and I decided we were going to provide what we could and give him a safe place to come play whenever he needed it since it didn’t seem like he was getting it at home. I see a lot of his life in my own and feel so bad for him. I am the youngest and feel like at 14 I was raising myself. My older siblings were long gone to college and marriage and I was home alone while my parents traveled the world. Don’t get me wrong, I lovvved the freedom to roam at will. But I was always lonely. And I still am. Thank you for your work!

By: Julie Clarity

Julie Clarity — Thu, 14 Sep 2017 20:25:44 +0000

I am very good looking. I walk down the street, people admire me.It is fun. I enjoy cheering people up just by walking down the street and tipping my hat and head just so for them.
But, due to early childhood abuse, I cannot fit in. It isn’t just because I happen to have landed somewhere, where, once again, I am better looking than most, it is because I truly feel like an alien here on this earth. I do not fit into my family or fairly recently, my state, or even the USA. I hang on to life here on this earth because I have trapped myself here, deliberately, and I enjoy the love of my spouse, my child and our pets, but I am just now recalling the early years of abuse that blossomed into decades of abuse at the hands and mouths of those who are my genetic family, and I wonder just how many of those who abused me knew they were giving me a horrible gift: the will to die?

I am fighting it, but this horrible gift has taken out several of my peers and many a great rock and roll singer, and a beloved cousin very recently. Why did I survive? Why am I here?

I am Generation X. Age 48, and I was born to be abused and then to die early. How does one escape that when so many of us in Gen X were raised the same way?

By: Jonice Webb

Jonice Webb — Sat, 02 Sep 2017 11:51:30 +0000

In reply to Tyler. I added this question to the list of questions for the Q&A Calls. I'll talk about this on a call sometime soon.

By: Tyler

Tyler — Fri, 01 Sep 2017 16:55:23 +0000

I know that you use the “walls” metaphor for loneliness but I feel invisible. Completely out in the open but just not significant. No amount of people, no venue and no time of day or night changes that feeling.

I don’t think there is a place for the this but I will ask anyway. I was wondering if you could further elaborate how “breaking down walls” occurs in good therapy. I know you have examples in your book but I mean more incrementally. What milestones should a patient / client look for on the way to recovery? What is recovery? What protocols have you developed to address this? Again, I know a comment section is not the place for this but maybe there is more technical information online.