Dear JF, any CEN person can change and grow and heal with one caveat. They must want it badly enough to do the work. So, I would suggest you ask your wife if she does want it badly enough and go from there.

I am currently having this problem with a friend, who keeps taking others people (strangers) sides against me in public. She also keeps correcting me which I thoroughly resent. For example we were out in a crowd of people most of whom I knew, and I started chatting animatedly with a stranger in the group. After a moment she murmured quietly to me – ‘That’s enough stop now’. I have told her in a matter of fact voice in the past to stop this. I am keeping this friendship on for the time being as I need to learn how to deal with it. Or maybe I am kidding myself?

I have read lots of your writings and please keep on as they help me (and others) enormously. Thank you. Bev

Hi Lori, Running On Empty and Running On Empty No More are available in many bookstores and every online bookseller including Amazon. The links to the books on Amazon are at the bottom of the article. I hope you will learn more about how to express how you really feel. It is very important.

Oh, it applies to me! I have a lifetime of holding back my emotions.

I’m afraid he’s not at that point. Too much pride, plus not wanting to be disloyal to his family, I would say.

I often feel anger and hurt or feelings of not being what I am expected to be and still I pack those feelings away and please everyone else.
Where can I find this book your speaking of?

Dear Lisa, I’m sorry you are in this situation. You could try to get your husband to read this article. But he will need to be ready to hear it. Otherwise, it’s hard to take it in.

Dear Lisa, it is exhausting holding back one’s emotions. This may not apply to you, but just want to let you know that if you’re doing this, it takes a lot of energy.