Comments on: Childhood Emotional Neglect: Why You Have it But Your Siblings Don’t

By: CalGirl

CalGirl — Sat, 19 Jul 2025 02:18:32 +0000

The worst thing about CEN is that you don’t have a stable & emotionally sound role model on which to base your own growth & development. I was oldest, the only girl, & didn’t know for years, until told in a fit of anger by my mother & reiterated by my mother’s sisters…my aunts… that I was the family “bastard.” It all fit into place at that moment: why I felt ignored, devalued, unsupported, unloved…over-depended upon … compared to the favored brothers. I struggled for years w/building my own life through my own strengths, all the while raising children, my husband & I attaining our own higher goals so we could turn around & support them…it was like raising myself while raising my family at the same time. I did not want to fail them, so I could not fail myself. Tough going. Everybody is “gone” now…my parents & aunts passed, my youngest brother, too, under poor circumstances, & the middle, cherished sibling– a mediocre, failed adult who required years of financial support from our parents. I do not “gloat” over any of this. I am sad. Sad about the missed family love/cohesiveness that could have been if my parents/others had not displayed CEN toward me. BTW, CEN goes deep: witnessed by my (favored) sibling …it allowed them/made them feel like they could do the same to me, b/c they learned it from my parents & others. Unfortunately, CEN influences multi-generations.

By: Jamie

Jamie — Mon, 19 May 2025 23:31:03 +0000

This article by Dr. Jonice Webb offers such a compassionate and insightful exploration into the complex and often misunderstood dynamics of Childhood Emotional Neglect (CEN). I deeply appreciate how it acknowledges the unique experiences siblings can have within the same family environment, highlighting the nuanced factors like gender, birth order, and personality that shape emotional outcomes. The clear explanations and practical guidance empower readers to validate their own emotional truths and take meaningful steps toward healing. This is an invaluable resource for anyone seeking to understand and overcome the invisible wounds of emotional neglect. Thank you for shedding light on such an important topic with empathy and expertise!

By: Anita

Anita — Sun, 16 Mar 2025 18:38:38 +0000

In reply to Carol. Dear Carol, It is long ago since I realised some issues in my life were/are related to childhood emotionally neglect. And I think too that my parents probably did the best they could. And both my parents did not know how to deal with their own emotions. Just this afternoon my 4 year younger sister and also the youngest in our family, told me how it hurts her that I tell other people that I am emotionally neglected by my parents. She thinks that that is totally unfair to my parents. And I do not blame my parents I just tried to investigate why I am the way I am. In our family my older brother, the first born does not recognise it either. But my younger brother feels the same.

By: Jonice

Jonice — Wed, 08 Jan 2025 16:33:31 +0000

In reply to Cameron. Dear Cameron, I applaud you for your healthy self-protection. I hope you'll work hard to fill those empty spaces with chosen family who will see you and love you for who you are.

By: Cameron

Cameron — Mon, 30 Dec 2024 07:50:17 +0000

Hi Jonice. Psychiatrist professional here with a toxic family of origin of my own. I am currently at the stage of setting some important physical boundaries with my narcissistic and neglectful mother who favors my younger brother – also neglectful, aloof, and greedy. I believe that all family members should reciprocate, engage with each other, and share. Unfortunately, that isnt the reality with my family of origin. This year (Christmas 2024), I had to feign sickness in order to avoid yet another depressing, disappointing, and cardboard like, superficial interaction with my 80 year old mother who pretends to be 25, talking about the furniture in her home that she wants to purchase and never does. The favored younger brother never stays in town for longer than 2 days, and never contacts me when he is here…this hurt me years ago, but I have learned to stay away from both of them. I no longer feel guilty about these boundaries, but I do feel sad and at a loss for having to feign sickness to avoid an invite from my mother (my mother just wants me there as an object to show my brother that she can still have some imagined effectiveness as a mother). Anyways, I pat myself on the back for this year, and I feel better about it. Please know that for years I have tried to discuss my feelings of dismissal and disappointment with my mother and brother….they either ignore, gaslight, or scoff at my discussions. I’m 55. Enough is enough.

By: Jonice

Jonice — Mon, 04 Sep 2023 13:51:38 +0000

In reply to Iben. Absolutely! I describe exactly that scenario in my book Running On Empty.

By: E

Sat, 26 Aug 2023 15:19:54 +0000

Thanks for a very helpful article. I’m currently in the midst of both of your books; after starting the second one, realized I needed to go back to the basics. I’m curious if you have any thoughts on a youngest sibling pushing aside the oldest sibling in a repeat of the parents’ CEN? I am trying to understand the two different personalities in this case, but it feels like my younger sister is not only enabling the CEN of my mother but has adopted it for herself. My own self-care is needed of course, but it feels strange to have EN (maybe we say “FEN”? Familial Emotional Neglect?) come up at me from below. She is 15 yrs. and a trained physician who has also been on SSRI meds for a couple decades after a profound episode of betrayal by my mother, but now feels and speaks to me in what feels like a very superficial way and never addresses anything I ask her about. Perhaps the solution is the boundaries, but the pain of family loss is very real. FEN may be your next book! Thanks for your thoughts.

By: Iben

Iben — Fri, 25 Aug 2023 19:35:55 +0000

Is it possible that child A has an illness and child B is healthy, but so much attention is given to child A that child B’s emotions are not paid sufficient attention to, resulting in child B suffering with CEN?

By: Jonice

Jonice — Mon, 23 Jan 2023 17:53:44 +0000

In reply to Sandra. Dear Sandra, Yes, I wrote a lot about that in my second book Running On Empty No More: Transform Your Relationships. You can get it at Amazon or most online sellers or at your local library.

By: Sandra

Sandra — Mon, 23 Jan 2023 17:04:45 +0000

Is there a book for parents on how to repair CEN and the relationship it has caused with your kids? Mending it when your children are young adults