Comments on: Empty

By: Jonice

Jonice — Mon, 04 Sep 2023 13:45:57 +0000

In reply to Topher. Thank you for your thoughtful comment. Human psychology is indeed complicated, and research shows that memories can be corrupted by time and emotion. However, that doesn't mean that we should say that none of our memories or feelings can be trusted. When people feel a gut sense of a connection to something or a deep feeling of finally understanding themselves or having discovered a personal truth, it would be a mistake to ignore that or try to explain it away.

By: Topher

Topher — Sat, 02 Sep 2023 07:02:37 +0000

I think we all experience these sorts of things and for all sorts of different reasons and this can shift as everything about us shifts, constantly, as we journey towards the end of living.

I journal and I notice that I experience this ‘weirdness’ as I call a few times most weeks. I seem to notice it when there’s a mismatch when a part of me might want to do something like spend more time with friends or family and be more social but the competing demands of work on my time and energy make this impossible. It could be a multitude of other reasons as life moves on, sometimes its a fleeting thing other times it lingers.

It seems to me that there is always a danger when putting a label on something like CEN that we automatically construct a story around such a label of brokenness and maybe a self fulfilling prophesy emerges along with the story reinforcing a certain perspective.

Perhaps this might be helpful for some but perhaps its a disaster for others. It looks like science is showing us that our memories are constructions that are changeable and malleable so we can misremember and falsify memories really easily.

I wonder how looking back through these constructions might keep us stuck there and obscure what could well be a range of current cultural disorders that are actually more responsible for our current state than anything else. Diets filed with UPF, de-pressing jobs, poverty, bad neighbourhoods, horrible school experiences, shift works, debt, overuse of screens and on and on – cultural disorders abound, unnoticed and obscured by psychologising and psychiatrising everything.

By: amy

amy — Mon, 21 Mar 2022 17:08:28 +0000

In reply to Joy. I am looking for an answer to this question as well. My husband and I were both raised in CEN homes. I am trying to overcome this, while my husband doesn't feel the same need. We have wondered if he is on the spectrum, and there does seem to be a lot of overlap between this and alexithymia.

By: Joy

Joy — Sat, 19 Sep 2020 04:47:14 +0000

I was raised in a CEN/alcoholic home and have been diagnosed with Asperger’s. I also identify with HSP. Is it possible to tweak these apart? The symptoms are so similar, especially emptiness and loneliness, and overlap each other; I don’t do confusion well.

By: Jonice

Jonice — Sun, 18 Aug 2019 19:59:49 +0000

In reply to Daria Beale. Dear DAria, that is likely a result of CEN. It is common among people who grow up in families that ignore feelings. You can heal your CEN and the world will feel less confusing and puzzling.

By: Daria Beale

Daria Beale — Sat, 17 Aug 2019 21:52:55 +0000

I remember this feeling, that I was missing something, everybody else just knew. It was like everyone had gotten a memo, that I never saw, and they all acted like, what’s wrong with you? You didn’t get that memo? But, no one could tell me where to find it, or what it said.

By: Olivia

Olivia — Tue, 29 Aug 2017 10:00:30 +0000

I googled “why do I feel so empty” and found your book, I then downloaded the audiobook and my cousin also bought your book.
I couldn’t believe how much it made sense. I’ve been through hell and back with neglect from my mother, my dads booze habit, and then to top it off, I spent 14 years being abused by the father of my kids. Seeking help now.

By: tracy

tracy — Wed, 14 Sep 2016 15:13:31 +0000

Hi my name is Tracy some times I fee like empty or alone. For one I grew up without my father hasn’t been in my life . My mother died a while back . When she passes I looked for my father. Been call him much as I can. NOTw .Don’t even get a call from him. It a Tex. And I’m in a relationship and I feel that my and my fire husband some times don’t connect. I feel like I’m being used. I been feeling like this a couple years since my father been in my life. I feel out place. And on top of that I don’t like ke his daml t members.

By: Susan

Susan — Sat, 16 Jul 2016 16:26:08 +0000

Hi- thank you for your post and helpful suggestions and most importantly validation. I ended up seeking out Therapy over 2 years ago. My husband became very ill and then was home
Recovering and doing well while I
Was ready to fall apart. My journey has been hard, scary and enlightening. I am just now coming to terms with how emotionally neglectful my mum was while I experienced years of physical abuse from my father and sexual abuse from a neighbor that led to my suicide attempt – all not acknowledged by my mum. Years followed of burying my issues and pleasing or trying to please everyone -But me. So much of your posts resonates with me. It doesn’t make sense to me why I am annoyed at my mum for the not doing while I had really focused on my father and what he did. My process has been long and surprising that I can’t just wish it away. I find it helpful to read I am not alone and that this work can be hard- thank you!

By: Jonice Webb

Jonice Webb — Sun, 17 May 2015 17:59:54 +0000

In reply to Ash. Dear Ash, I'm so happy to be of help! At 21, you have ample time to deal with everything, and it sounds like you are. I encourage you to find a trained professional, and let him or her help guide and support you through the process. CEN folks feel more comfortable doing everything on their own, and that's exactly why they (you) shouldn't. Wishing you all the best.