Comments on: How Childhood Emotional Neglect Can Make You an Avoidant Adult

By: Grace

Grace — Sun, 27 Oct 2024 15:42:59 +0000

In reply to JLS. JLS, I've just read your story and I'm so sorry. I very much agree with what you said about neglect, though I feel what I experienced isn't even worth mentioning compared to you. I am sending you prayers and the courage and strength to survive.

By: JLS

JLS — Sat, 07 Nov 2020 13:41:19 +0000

Thanks for sharing everyone. I constantly find myself subconsciously attracted to narcissists and I really bit the bullet and was like “what if I am one”? CEN makes a lot of sense. I grew up with a mother who did drugs and severely neglected my brother sister and I. My mom kept us from our dad who was wonderful to us. I spent a lot of my younger years raising my siblings. I had to do things like steal clothes from nearby storage units, stole money to pay for lunch and pretty much was a mom to them. My sister and I were sexually abused at a young age. It led her to drink heavily and she died in a drunk driving accident at 19. My brother is suffering terribly from the damage done in our childhood. Not only was there neglect but physical and mental abuse along with rampant drug/alcohol use. I’m scared my brother is now emotionally suffering so bad that he’ll do anything to end it. Its disgusting to witness the damage it’s done to my family. Neglect is a lot worse than abuse. At least you’re seen. At least someone acknowledges you. Neglect is being left to survive on your own. It causes deep seeded invisible damage. A void that you have to fill with something. How do you fix something that you don’t even know exists? We are all kind hearted people people but we have no idea how to make it out here. We were taught that drugs and alcohol is how you cope with things. And unfortunately after my sisters death he never recovered and due to the crippling guilt that we grew up this way, my dad became an alcoholic. He died that day too. I’m in intensive outpatient psychotherapy but I’d really like to read the book and find a way to help my brother cope. He’s lost and I can’t leave him behind.

By: Jonice

Jonice — Fri, 06 Nov 2020 02:40:04 +0000

In reply to Suzanne. Good work, Suzanne. Keep it up!

By: Suzanne

Suzanne — Wed, 04 Nov 2020 19:49:44 +0000

Hi Jonice!
Wow this seems to have struck a cord. Like bullseye. I have all the traits very strongly. ( even avoiding my family and having difficulty leaving my room.) This is all shifting as I am presently victoriously in my kitchen surrounded by people and a dirty floor I plan to sweep. After discovering, at the age of 55 I had trauma, CEN, adrenal burnout, and am empath I got busy ! I have created a healing Team to heal the attachment trauma/physical and emotional neglect and abuse. This includes you, 1 other therapist, 1 energy healer, 1 empath coach and a functional medicine team. I am so excited to do the tips you have given! So grateful for you and your world-changing work!

By: TreadSoftly

TreadSoftly — Wed, 04 Nov 2020 12:41:03 +0000

In reply to MaggieRose.

MaggieRose, you are an amazing friend … and I hope you continue you to be. However, I wonder if this is where this person truly belongs … in the friend-zone? Maybe that is all you want, but if you are looking for more, you may have a very long wait. I hope you are open to the possibility of other relationships? Life is short ….

By: Deb

Deb — Tue, 03 Nov 2020 10:02:46 +0000

In reply to Jonice.

Thank you so much, Harvey and Jonice, for your comments. I’ve noticed for years that I avoid things but had no idea why it started. I’ve given myself a hard time over the years for being such a coward. Like Harvey, I have lost interest in everything apart from my children. I even avoid things that will bring me praise/pleasure, because I don’t believe I deserve it. Finding the root of these things (CEN) will help me undue all the harm I’ve done to myself. I believe it is possible to recover. Jonice please keep putting up these articles – they help so much. Thank you.

By: Jonice

Jonice — Mon, 02 Nov 2020 23:58:59 +0000

In reply to Harvey. Dear Harvey, it's not too late. You can turn this around. Start paying attention to your feelings and you will notice glimmers of interest starting.

By: Jonice

Jonice — Mon, 02 Nov 2020 23:58:15 +0000

In reply to Sabrina. Excellent work, Sabrina! I'm so glad you are doing this. Keep it up.

By: King's Kid

King's Kid — Mon, 02 Nov 2020 21:27:31 +0000

Emotional hiding, I have come to understand, is a form of inverse pride; of not wanting to be seen or known. Overcoming hiding from myself; figuring out how to, is the first step. Suspect that sharing the wounds & pain by writing, recording, will be immensely fruitful. Fight the inclination to withdraw & hide lest nothing will change. Be brave & courageous!

By: Harvey

Harvey — Mon, 02 Nov 2020 17:01:01 +0000

I’ve gone so long avoiding things that now I don’t even feel like there’s anything I want to do. So now avoidance has been replaced by disinterest.
There just doesn’t seem to be anything I even really feel like doing.