Comments on: How Childhood Emotional Neglect Undermines the Highly Sensitive Person’s 3 Greatest Strengths

By: CT

CT — Fri, 12 Apr 2024 05:06:54 +0000

Wow!
I’m surprised that you all are so down on being HSP with CEN. I mean, yes it does suck that our childhood was less than perfect. I was abused in every way: mentally, physically, I was sacrificial, but I survived. I found that I don’t have good manners. I don’t know how to express myself with out tears. I think I don’t know how to process all that it wrong with me, so I’m super grateful that those who tolerate me do so at all. I withdraw from all family events to the point I’m no longer invited. I do research
on all that to try and see if I can gain what I need. if I can.
But! I wouldn’t give up my HSP cen status. I love that music moves me to tears, I love my connection to love and peace.
we as hsps are here for a greater purpose and are justly here to exhibit strength of character, promote peace and spread positivity across a negative landscape. Naturally, any thing worth a damn is going to be hard. To the hsps of the world I say “Never let the neg-nays suck you into their absolute soul thinng theory’s.
Know that it’s a more evolved DNA that hsps are entrusted with. Good luck with all that negativity. I know now that I had to endure what I went through in order to become the amazing person I have become. Sometimes you have to suffer to be enlightened to your true potential.

Remember.

“There are as many ways to look at things as there are things to look at”

-Carolyn Toliver

By: Else Marie

Else Marie — Fri, 03 Jul 2020 17:13:32 +0000

In reply to Pieter.

Hello Pieter, if you are an HSP you are born such and have also inherited it from someone – HS is a temperament trait (in your genes) and you will never grow out of it. You cannot be diagnosed! It’s not an illness! HS is probably a survival strategy contrary to that of non-HS individuals and is also found in at least 100 species. The basis for HS is depth of processing. If you have CEN and HSP I would say it’s extra difficult because everything goes under our skin – we are particularly sensitive to the environment. Learn as much as you can about HS – read Elaine Aron’s books and listen to her videos.

By: Pieter

Pieter — Mon, 25 Feb 2019 16:43:01 +0000

At my final session with my therapist a few weeks ago, I suggested that I might be an HSP. Although this has not been officially diagnosed, based on what he knows about me, he does consider it very plausible. Turns out he is also one himself (officially diagnosed).

He then confirmed part of a theory I had developed myself, which is that all children start as HSP but eventually grow out of it as they become more stable thanks to growing up in a steady environment.

It is only when children get stunted in growing up that they keep HSP into adulthood. Since apparently 1 out of 5 people is an HSP and this makes it sound like HSP=CEN (at least to some extent), that does indicate how wide-spread this problem really is. 20% of the world population is quite a lot!

I know I have definitely had a hard time dealing with my excessively strong (as far as I’m concerned) emotions. And so I hid them and tried to act as coldly and logically as the Vulcans from Star Trek would do.
(It was explained in later series that they too have strong emotions that they suppress equally strongly. Remind you of anything…?)

By: Jonice

Jonice — Wed, 20 Feb 2019 08:53:05 +0000

In reply to Marsha. Dear Marsha, I wish I could respond to every single comment. But I don't have a staff and it's just me doing this work. I feel it's better to provide this forum (my website) for people to connect with each other than to stop all comments due to feeling guilty that I can't respond to them. It's a dilemma I struggle with.

By: Marsha

Marsha — Fri, 15 Feb 2019 10:08:12 +0000

Read the book twice. Just visiting here now. Lots of helpful insights. It is however very distressing to see no response from the host/author to the heartfelt comments and questions here. It’s like a lost teachable moment for sure I just cannot wrap my mind around this. It’s one reason I stopped therapy. We have to do this inner work of self love ourselves.

By: Christina Clayton

Christina Clayton — Wed, 13 Feb 2019 05:32:12 +0000

I have imagined through reading and observation, what appears to be the possibility that a deep, meaningful human relationship is like the solid circle inside a bull’s-eye surrounded by concentric rings. The solid circle of the bull’s-eye represents allowing a level of what I term, molecular-trust, toward another person; sometimes, more than one person, if that is within the display of human relationship possibility. The first set of outer concentric rings are where family members and close friends are allowed. The further out a concentric ring is, the more casual the interaction of trust is with the acquaintance. The HSP learns through life experience that there is absolutely no other human being who is genuinely interested to be in the inner solid circle. Peacefully it is accepted and resolved to be O.K. Additionally, it is too risky to entrust another person with the meaningful asset of molecular-trust, a sacredness belonging to the soul. The safest place is to relate to others from one of the outer concentric rings, learning it is all right to protect yourself from the savagery of other’s unkempt emotions oblivious to the HSP … as though the HSP is invisible … The unfailing hope for this HSP’er has been Jesus Christ, the Maker of the bull’s-eye of my soul and the only One Who knows the deep, rich meaning of honor, trust, hope and love.

By: Julie

Julie — Mon, 11 Feb 2019 13:13:24 +0000

I have been receiving Dr. Webbs daily emails when I first heard of cen.
I also, on my journey of self parenting found a 12 step group called ACoA.. Adult Children of Alcoholics or other Dysfunctional families. I was amazed at the similarities we all have. People I met in these groups come from a lot of different backgrounds. Some never have had alchohol in their families, but grew up with the facade of the “perfect” family image. Varying from young adult to 80 somethings, it’s a safe place to meet others, share out childhood issues and work on recognizing triggers. Dr. Webb is the only person out there who seems to be able to put a REAL name on these issues. CEN is very real. I go to a rehab on e a week to introduce the ACoA group. Some of these kids are in there because they never were really able to be a child.
So to escape the trauma they turned to drugs/alchohol. They seem so surprised to find out most of their issues had started long before substances came in to their lives. There are 14 traits of an Adult Child. I relate to most, as do others.
Adultchildren.org has more info. Thank you for allowing me to share this additional resource. Dr.. Webb is spot on. Thank you Dr. Webb for allowing me to share this and help others. There IS power in numbers. Hearing others, having a support group & reading materials that CEN & the Adult Child has to offer let’s people know,,,WE ARE NOT ALONE! Julie S

By: Deb

Deb — Mon, 11 Feb 2019 11:45:20 +0000

Thank you for revealing so much positivity. I’m wondering how someone with CEN finds their voice in boundary setting. As I learn about CEN and the importance of sharing my feelings, I still want to feel protected. I don’t trust myself yet with people, so my voice is still. I have just now managed to communicate my feelings in letter format to my family. I feel like a bull in a China store. In an attempt to protect myself and set boundaries, I pushed them away entirely, as I do just about everyone, even those who don’t conjure up the pain within me. So, after learning about CEN, is there a helpful first step to trying out your voice again? Thank you for your time.
Deb

By: Alisha

Alisha — Mon, 11 Feb 2019 04:17:20 +0000

This makes a lot of sense to me. I believe I am a HSP with CEN complications, and perhaps high functioning anxiety as well, although I was never officially diagnosed..
Are there therapists that specialize in both CEN and HSPs?

By: mieke

mieke — Sun, 10 Feb 2019 22:58:08 +0000

random people come up to me and blurt out whatever they think i am (partial facial paralysis) and get angry at me if i tell them how that affects me, even when i say so gently and thoughtfully. it’s truly bizarre. it’s like i’m just a “What” not a person with feelings and a mind. i’ve had to conclude they care more about their own impressions than a simple technical explanation (good enough to me) and sort of ‘get a rise’ of out talking to me, so i am learning to set a boundary on this subject. it’s not about a equal relationship to them.