Dear Uh, good for you for taking the chance of doing things differently! I suggest you contact a therapist from the Find A CEN Therapist page and allow a trained therapist to help you develop the skills involved in self-expression and assertiveness. They are complex but very learnable!

Good work Cheryl! Keep it up.

Oh, Bridget, I am so sorry you ran into one of those judgey therapists! Hope you will persist in believing in you and try another. Find someone who has real empathy–like Dr. Jonice Webb talks about in the article. I write this because you sound so much like me! I am only a couple of years older than you but likely have been on this recovery from CEN journey longer. Recognizing in myself the kind of self belittling you describe was key to then seeing where it came from and it was not from the little girl I was; it was from so much around me. Unintentional or not, it was hurtful to who I grew up to be. Once I could see, as you state, that I felt I didn’t deserve to be cared for unless I was REALLY REALLY sick, and then when I realized where it came from, I could start to work on taking care of me at all times. I found a CEN therapist from the list and things have turned around. Self care is now the basis for every day, if in little ways, like dancing in the shower to finding a CEN person to talk to, to stepping out to reply when my inclination is still to be a hermit. You can do it! Good luck! (And keep loving your medically fragile child; the healthier you get the better you can do so)

Dear Bridget, the doubts you express about your own experience are very common for CEN people. I’m very glad you’re reading Running On Empty! I think you will find answers and direction in it.

Hi Caroline, every single human being is different. Often, we block parts of our feelings that are too personal or painful or were too unacceptable in our childhood homes. Please think about how CEN happened to you and put your energy toward connecting with your own feelings in general.