Comments on: How Old Feelings From Your Childhood Could Be Controlling You Now

By: Tony

Tony — Tue, 26 Dec 2023 02:36:19 +0000

In reply to Jonice. What are your thoughts regarding psychedelics in order to push through enough negativity to be able to reach out to get help? My biggest obstacle is trust, I have made several attempts at trying to get therapy, but end up cancelling or not following through. Maybe the internet is giving me too much to consider? I look at potential therapists photos and read their on-line information and end up thinking either they just will not understand, I’m too much damaged for them to help, or worse will secretly think I’m just a ridiculous joke of a person. I’ve read several articles about how some of these drugs can be life changing and can open up people to new experiences.

By: Jonice

Jonice — Tue, 19 Dec 2023 15:24:28 +0000

In reply to Tony. Hi Tony, I wish such a thing existed! But the only way to deal with these feelings is to feel them while considering them. For some emotions you may have to do it many times, uncovering different layers as you go along. The key is persistence, tuning in to yourself and feeling your feelings. Getting a good therapist from the Find a Therapist List on this site may be very helpful.

By: Tony

Tony — Tue, 19 Dec 2023 04:07:59 +0000

I can identify with all of these scenarios. Intellectually I understand where my feelings are coming from, and try to use my cognition/reasoning to address my issues. Unfortunately my feelings don’t care about what my intellectual brain has to say. All my attempts over many years only results in temporary relief, I believe I need some kind of dramatic brain reboot that doesn’t rely on reasoning but have yet to find what that is!

By: MWOG

MWOG — Fri, 28 Apr 2023 15:52:56 +0000

In reply to No Hope.

I know it is hard when people don’t validate your feelings and say just get over it especially when its your spouse or family. Those people are not in your shoes and don’t understand because they haven’t experienced it. Don’t let that get you down. Find a support group or a good friend that will listen. We don’t need those people to make us feel better and sometimes it hurts that they won’t validate us. My family act weird around me after they found out I was sexually abused as a child. I have gone through therapy and am healed from that and it doesn’t affect my life anymore. My family still makes comments and tries to shame me still. But I know the truth and they can’t make me feel bad anymore. I have taken control over my feelings and it is freedom.

By: Sheila

Sheila — Sun, 07 Aug 2022 19:15:57 +0000

In reply to No Hope. NO HOPE I feel for you. I, too have been Mr. Spock all my life. I still am, and learning to know what my feelings are so I can address them. I have a long way to go.

By: Sandy

Sandy — Tue, 01 Mar 2022 23:01:15 +0000

I’ve identified some very strong childhood feelings, but I’m not sure what to do with them. My heart hurts for my little self, as I see everything that went wrong from an emotional standpoint. But I’m not sure how to get over it. I have such bad feelings when I think of myself alone with no support because my mom was checked out (depressed, overworked, poor) and I was a latchkey kid. I talked to a therapist about all this, but it didn’t seem to help.

By: No Hope

No Hope — Mon, 21 Feb 2022 21:41:57 +0000

I read both your books and started working on getting in touch with my repressed feelings (I’ve been “Mr. Spock” my whole life). Unfortunately, the only ones I’ve connected to so far are bitterness, anger, rage, and fear. I’ve tried to share these feelings with my wife and the few people in my life, but they all reject me and/or invalidate my feelings and thoughts (“you shouldn’t feel that way”, “get over yourself” etc.). Therapy is not possible where we live, and I couldn’t afford it if it was available. Now I’m more miserable than ever as instead of numb I’m now feeling hopeless, helpless, and full of despair.

By: Jonice

Jonice — Wed, 17 Nov 2021 16:55:09 +0000

In reply to Peter. Dear Peter, I can't tell enough about your parents from your question. I'm sorry I can't say anything useful.

By: Peter

Peter — Mon, 15 Nov 2021 16:30:54 +0000

Dear Jonice,
Thank you for your books. I regularly use what I learned in communicating with my children.
My parents and I usually talk only around holidays. They’ve been ignorant for as long as I can remember. They are Type 3. I stopped blaming myself after reading your books. My kids are old enough to notice and they keep asking: “Dad, why don’t you talk to grandma and grandpa more often?” I’m not sure what to say. On one hand, I don’t want them to think I’m ignorant. On the other hand, I don’t want to cause more pain for myself. I’d really appreciate a very short suggestion. Thank you very much

By: zeeky

zeeky — Tue, 25 May 2021 17:55:41 +0000

Dear Jonice, Thank god with the help of your books I’ve been growing and learning about myself and my emotions; Thank you!!

The most dominant emotions that have been hidden inside me, include intense guilt and shame. What book would you recommend to a Emotionally neglected person on guilt and shame? Thank you so much for all you do, its amazing.