Comments on: How to Deal With Your Emotionally Neglectful Parents

By: KS

KS — Sat, 27 Dec 2025 01:00:56 +0000

In reply to H. Hi H, I resonate so much with your reply. How do you cope with being the cycle breaker? How do I love my parents while setting boundaries and trying to help them while helping myself?

By: Jonice

Jonice — Sat, 22 Mar 2025 12:14:42 +0000

In reply to Jacob. Dear Jacob, the key word in that sentence is, "often" and I actually should have written, "sometimes." Many parents do not deserve compassion from their children, and each person must make that judgment for yourself. You are angry for good reason and it's important to allow yourself to be. Please do not take one sentence I wrote as my ultimate statement of how all should act, I did not intend that. I encourage you to find a licensed therapist in your area who can help you find ways to protect yourself from your parents while you also heal your neglect. All my best to you.

By: Jacob

Jacob — Fri, 14 Mar 2025 20:31:19 +0000

“Try to find compassion for your parents – Often, when you can see how your own parents were emotionally neglected, you can feel some compassion for what they didn’t get. This can help you to feel less angry and frustrated with them for failing you.”

So, you are saying I still have to be the bigger person and meet their needs before I meet mine. They expressed anger, disappointment, resentment in me growing up but I can’t show that to them. How then do I express my feelings to them that they haven’t cared about all my life. Why should I care about their feelings and needs? I have always been calm, collected and controlled in all my relationships, the controlled mature one. And all I want to do is rant and rave at them as they did to us growing up

By: Eve

Eve — Sat, 14 Oct 2023 16:15:48 +0000

Thank you so much for this article. After 13 years of no contact on my side, I’ve been contacted by my mother, who is experiencing a very slow and painful death and has lost everything important to her. She has expressed remorse for physical abuse in childhood, but I find that the emotional abuse was what did the most damage to me. She was a neglected, abused child. I have the utmost sympathy for her plight and do not wish her demise on her. It hurts to think about. But the emotion that I have to offer her, was not something she ever gave me and I don’t trust that she is capable of doing now.

I needed this article right now. I appreciate the validation and perspective of only stepping back into this relationship if it will do something for only me. My mother was and probably still is an extremely selfish and now, very lonely person.

By: H

Sun, 16 Jul 2023 05:22:05 +0000

My childhood was interesting to say the least, putting it bluntly emotional neglect, malnutrition, education deficiencies and gaps, mild violence(unhealthy conflict resolution), dissociation, emotional suppression, and bullying. Had to work so hard to find a way to limit my exposure by dissociating and suppressing, however, this led to difficulty creating healthy relationships, self team, insecurity, and impostor syndrome it held me back for most of my life until I decided to take control of my destiny, Therapy has been life-changing tool, it has given me the awareness and the knowledge to label emotions, improve conflict resolution, self steam, confidence builder, courage, etc, but most importantly it showed me how my childhood traumas played a role in almost every decsiion and behavior in my life, and it’s an intense feeling to become aware that ultimately we are in control of how we react how we act and how we problem solve, self-improvement has made me painfully aware if how I wished I had functional parents and how I have had to accept what I cannot change is hard to accept and befriend your parents after knowing so much about psychology, I see the unhealthy behavior and lack of boundaries that caused this trauma to begin with. Yet I feel guilty for feeling this way almost shame for questioning my upbringing (severe conditioning). I feel also sad for my parents and the type of childhood they had, and how this generational trauma gets passed down. However I want to end that cycle with me, If I ever educate or mother a child I would prepare them to be highly functional, securely attached, and self-reliant humans. This post really helped me put into perspective how I could possibly bond with my parents more. I love them very much it’s just painful to be around them when they remind you of your traumas, but I have a choice I can put boundaries I can limit exposure, I can decide if I want to stop I get to choose Now im no longer a child I get to express myself and heal myself. It is healthy to want people around you that want the best for you, Nurture you, respect your boundaries, and help you grow.

By: Sarah

Sarah — Fri, 03 Feb 2023 07:21:21 +0000

In reply to Jeremy. Hey Jeremy, I’m sorry your relationship with your mom is causing stress. Hallucinations are not healthy and I want you to know that if you feel unsafe or unsure of your mom’s mental or physical safety it would be good and right for you to reach out for help. If you feel safe to do so you can call the police and explain the situation in detail, or you can call 911 for an ambulance to come and check on her mental state. Your safety and mental health matters. If you don’t know what else to do or don’t feel comfortable with those options, ask your mom to take you to church or go by yourself/with a trusted adult and ask someone for help. Keep asking for help until you get it, your life matters.

By: Adam

Adam — Fri, 07 Oct 2022 08:14:39 +0000

In reply to cdk. I am so sorry for you. I have reppresed the exact same thing as you it is coming back with a vengeance. I I'm 54 now. and I feel like my life is over. I am going to therapy. ( I hope it works)

By: cdk

cdk — Thu, 22 Sep 2022 16:14:18 +0000

My mother was found unfit for drug use and neglect. My 2 siblings and I I were taken away. Yrs later I got to live with her again, but this time she would scream and hit me until I was 16. She also neglected me by not providing proper healthcare for me until threatened to be turned in to family services. My biological father was no better as my mother divorced him for being abusive when I young. My father gave up his parental rights so he wouldn’t have to pay child support so, I was adopted by my mother’s 2nd husband. Flash forward about 40 years my father died last week and my mother was on street drugs until about a year ago only because Dr wouldn’t prescribe her pain meds with illegal drugs in her system. Both of my parents never apologized for what they did nor admit any wrong. They only use excuses and it’s all about them. I will never get the apology from my father because he is now dead and mother just has decided to alienate herself instead of mending broken bridges by admitting guilt. I hope I can heal and forget.

By: Sgt

Sgt — Sat, 14 May 2022 20:11:13 +0000

It’s the oldest proverb just about in the book. You can lead a horse to water but…..
I am not a Christian but I like the concept that we should not throw our precious wisdom or pearls or sincere positive energy away recklessly into the mud so that the incorrigible and willfully ignorant pigs trample over them obliviously and clulessly.

By: Brad

Brad — Sun, 10 Apr 2022 02:41:03 +0000

My mum used t not let me in the house when it got past 10pm I was a teenager suppose that was to punish me for something God knows I tried to talk to her about it recently, but I’m all to blame as usual she used to kick me out and had nowhere else to go had to sleep on the trampoline or park bench must of been about 13-14years old then moved to my grans and she done the same thing in the end, it happened up until I was about 17-18, used to tell me she wished I wasn’t born one time she hit me with a weight pole across my head I rang the police so I had to move to my dad’s i never met him before that literally, I but he ended up being a drug abuser and had bad mental problems so I was up looking after him I me a I done so much for my mum look after my little brothers whenever she wanted to go out for to a point she was buying me cannabis, I wasn’t addicted to it until she discovered I started smoking she even used to offer to get me some at 14 onwards just so she could have a babysitter to go so whatever she wanted thank God I stopped smoking it, but at times I relaps because I feel unworthy just to escape my head goes at 1000 miles per hour think I need hep but I don’t know what to say about it other than this and feel more stupid saying it sorry for the rant but I hope you guys read this and feel better about your lives