Comments on: How to Know if You Experienced Emotional Abuse or Neglect as a Child

By: Jonice

Jonice — Thu, 20 Jun 2024 12:04:55 +0000

In reply to Kate. Dear Kate, your situation sounds difficult, for sure. The dynamics of a CEN family are complex and it helps very much to understand your own feelings. I recommend you read my second book, Running on Empty No More: Transform Your Relationships, because it describes how adults with CEN feel toward their parents and families and the process of overcoming that.

By: Kate

Kate — Mon, 10 Jun 2024 21:24:25 +0000

Hi Dr. Webb, I am struggling right now with my siblings and wonder which of your books, or perhaps something on your website has a section dealing specifically with siblings. My siblings and I all suffered emotional neglect and my own case probably drifted into a little emotional abuse as well. Although I am the third child (of four), I am the child who my very elderly parents have turned to for help, but have also wound up as the villain, from my siblings’ perspectives. There is obviously more to the story, but at the moment, I am excluded from (extended) family events yet I do probably 80% of the work for our parents. Perhaps oddly, my own family is a joy and delight to me and I feel very very lucky in them. But I find that whenever I have to interact with my siblings I become depressed and a bit despondent and I wish there was something I could do to relieve these feelings. I do meditate daily and exercise regularly, and even journal somewhat regularly already. I know this is a lot of information, but what a relief to actually say it (virtually) out loud! Any advice or resources will be much appreciated. Thank you – Kate

By: Jonice

Jonice — Tue, 19 Dec 2023 20:50:58 +0000

In reply to Pete. When a family tries to discourage meaningful discussion and personal sharing, that is Emotional Neglect. I encourage you to trust your reality and your own feelings. Learn everything you can about Childhood Emotional Neglect. Talking to a CEN trained therapist can help!

By: Pete

Pete — Sun, 17 Dec 2023 06:31:41 +0000

Hi Jonice,
thanks for your help on this topic…It is certainly opening my eyes.

I would like to share this with my siblings but it’s difficult when they believe we had a perfect upbringing I believe I was emotionally neglected by parents random business and milk bar and they spent a lot of time there and my mother said in her later years she feels she didn’t spend enough time with me and she was sorry for that so that was a big red flag to me and God bless her for being so honest she didn’t mean to do it he was busy with the shop I’m not sure how my brother and sister see all this I would like to open it up to the discussion possibly instead of pretending everything was perfect but it’s tough they call me a naval gazer when i bring up these things. i get told to move on and to be careful not to burn my bridges with family

By: Jonice

Jonice — Mon, 18 Jan 2021 02:40:42 +0000

In reply to Sarah. Dear Sarah, Emotional Neglect can definitely cross the line and become abusive. I encourage you to tell your experiences to a trained CEN therapist from the Find A CEN Therapist List. You deserve support and help to get perspective on all of this.

By: Sarah

Sarah — Mon, 18 Jan 2021 01:51:46 +0000

Would you say that a mother that invalidates is abusing or neglecting? If when I was a child she blamed me mistakenly for something that wasn’t my fault I would try to explain and she would dismiss me, refuse to listen, tell me Im wrong and then get shout at me anyway or send me to my room as if I was to blame. It confused me. Looking back I felt stuck, helpless, empty and hopeless. It was like I had no way of connecting with her or getting her to hear me.
Now as an adult i divorced due to my ex’s psychological abuse and control. Mum doesn’t accept that reality and feels sorry for him, despite seeing me completely fall apart during the marriage. I asked her if she could consider that its true that he was abusive and wasn’t good for me and she answers ‘you should see a doctor’ thereby making me feel as though Im the problem in a similar way to which he did. She still doesn’t hear me or wont hear me. I can see the neglect in these 2 situations but would you say this is abusive behaviour too?

By: Jonice

Jonice — Mon, 05 Oct 2020 12:26:49 +0000

In reply to Christy. Yes you can be both! Many people are, so you are not alone, Christy. Keep working on this, and please do allow a trained therapist to help you as needed.

By: Christy

Christy — Mon, 05 Oct 2020 05:05:54 +0000

Is it possible to suffer from both? I’m the oldest of three, my mother had me at 17 father was 19. They were narcissistic (both), they physically abused my sisters and I, emotionally abused and emotionally neglected us as well as general neglect. I’m 51 now I was told my whole life your childhood doesn’t matter … what a lie that is!!! I bought your book! I’ve tried my whole life to be open to learn and change and be nothing like my parents and I’ve been somewhat successful but I know I could be more successful and more happy and I feel a HUGE BLOCK like a wall…and this CEN is unlocking a lot for me!! But back to my original question, can you be both??

By: Jonice

Jonice — Fri, 15 May 2020 15:18:32 +0000

In reply to Anki. I'm so glad, Anki!

By: Anki

Anki — Mon, 11 May 2020 14:32:08 +0000

Wow, THANKS!
At 58 I finally start to see the whole picture!
You helped me with so many pieces of the puzzle.
Your work is fantastic, I’m forever grateful.