Comments on: How to Use the Vertical Questioning Technique to Strengthen and Deepen Your Marriage https://drjonicewebb.com/how-to-use-the-vertical-questioning-technique-to-strengthen-and-deepen-your-marriage/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=how-to-use-the-vertical-questioning-technique-to-strengthen-and-deepen-your-marriage&utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=how-to-use-the-vertical-questioning-technique-to-strengthen-and-deepen-your-marriage Your resource for relationship and emotional health. Wed, 05 Oct 2022 20:06:37 +0000 hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.9 By: Jonice https://drjonicewebb.com/how-to-use-the-vertical-questioning-technique-to-strengthen-and-deepen-your-marriage/comment-page-1/#comment-13193 Sun, 11 Sep 2022 14:19:04 +0000 https://drjonicewebb.com/?p=6389#comment-13193 In reply to C.

Hi C, no I don’t know of any. It’s not a well-known technique at all.

]]> By: C https://drjonicewebb.com/how-to-use-the-vertical-questioning-technique-to-strengthen-and-deepen-your-marriage/comment-page-1/#comment-13186 Fri, 09 Sep 2022 02:59:16 +0000 https://drjonicewebb.com/?p=6389#comment-13186 Do you have any books you would recommend that dive into the vertical/horizontal questioning?

]]> By: Jonice https://drjonicewebb.com/how-to-use-the-vertical-questioning-technique-to-strengthen-and-deepen-your-marriage/comment-page-1/#comment-3256 Mon, 07 Oct 2019 02:50:06 +0000 https://drjonicewebb.com/?p=6389#comment-3256 In reply to Jennifer.

Dear Jennifer, please go see a therapist. Check the Find a CEN Therapist page on this website. Take your husband if he will go, but go alone if not.
This is important. It is not OK for you to continue on like this.

]]> By: Jennifer https://drjonicewebb.com/how-to-use-the-vertical-questioning-technique-to-strengthen-and-deepen-your-marriage/comment-page-1/#comment-3237 Sun, 06 Oct 2019 09:24:17 +0000 https://drjonicewebb.com/?p=6389#comment-3237 I have tried this method of communicating with my partner. Often his actions don’t match his words. He’ll tell me he’s not angry, or that we’re fine, but I see him turn away, or reject my attempts to reach out physically- e.g. an embrace or a tender touch, or suddenly change his disposition from warm and friendly to cold and incommunicative), he will
Either become furious because he thinks I’m “lying, trying give him emotions he doesn’t have”, or he mocks me, says I’m being ridiculous, “overthinking”.

]]> By: Jonice https://drjonicewebb.com/how-to-use-the-vertical-questioning-technique-to-strengthen-and-deepen-your-marriage/comment-page-1/#comment-2944 Tue, 30 Jul 2019 21:07:11 +0000 https://drjonicewebb.com/?p=6389#comment-2944 In reply to SV.

Dear SV, it sounds like emotion skills like how to communicate while upset or angry are lacking in the relationship. I suggest you try to get your husband to read Running On Empty, and also to go see an CEN couples therapist with you.

]]> By: SV https://drjonicewebb.com/how-to-use-the-vertical-questioning-technique-to-strengthen-and-deepen-your-marriage/comment-page-1/#comment-2943 Tue, 30 Jul 2019 20:39:22 +0000 https://drjonicewebb.com/?p=6389#comment-2943 In reply to JP.

This resonates so much.

]]> By: SV https://drjonicewebb.com/how-to-use-the-vertical-questioning-technique-to-strengthen-and-deepen-your-marriage/comment-page-1/#comment-2942 Tue, 30 Jul 2019 20:36:03 +0000 https://drjonicewebb.com/?p=6389#comment-2942 How can one start asking these questions when a spouse won’t or isn’t interested in opening up. Have been reading your 1st book on CEN, and working on healing from past trauma beside the CEN. As I show and express more emotion especially when we’re having a conflict/ disagreement, it seems more difficult for him to accept. Eg. Yesterday I was very upset because my spouse promised he would help me with something that was a lot of work. This was said to me over a week ago, and then he wasn’t there to help, even though he saw how much there was to do and left. When he got home later I told him how I felt and his reply was that I should have said something. My answer was that why do I have to ask again, when he was the one who committed to saying over a week ago he will help with it. How is it that I can remember and see when help is needed and give it, but he can’t. His reply to that was , that I know he forgets things because his mind his busy with so much and the same pattern happens with others, not just me. So I should have reminded and asked him to come help. And yet I feel I shouldn’t have too, especially when he made that commitment to me & that I am not just ‘others’ but his wife. Which makes me feel disconnected from him when he does this.
I want to be able to ask vertical questions and from past experience in trying, he isn’t willing to be open with me.
So how can I do this? I love him and feel a somewhat emotional disconnection in our marriage. And am not always open and true to telling him exactly how I feel for fear of hurting him.

]]> By: Jonice https://drjonicewebb.com/how-to-use-the-vertical-questioning-technique-to-strengthen-and-deepen-your-marriage/comment-page-1/#comment-2941 Tue, 30 Jul 2019 20:31:47 +0000 https://drjonicewebb.com/?p=6389#comment-2941 In reply to Mho.

I am very glad to hear that Mho. Take care!

]]> By: Mho https://drjonicewebb.com/how-to-use-the-vertical-questioning-technique-to-strengthen-and-deepen-your-marriage/comment-page-1/#comment-2938 Tue, 30 Jul 2019 16:26:20 +0000 https://drjonicewebb.com/?p=6389#comment-2938 Thanks Dr. Jonice your articles, hard work and contribution are really appreciated and helpful!

]]> By: JP https://drjonicewebb.com/how-to-use-the-vertical-questioning-technique-to-strengthen-and-deepen-your-marriage/comment-page-1/#comment-2937 Tue, 30 Jul 2019 12:23:04 +0000 https://drjonicewebb.com/?p=6389#comment-2937 In reply to Jonice.

Yes, someone currently. I feel like a crazy person because I don’t know whether I’m being overly sensitive and am reading things into the question or if it’s really there. Also, if I confront the person about it, they defend themselves and say they just care, but if I’m silent, nothing ever changes either. Trying to trust God to bring about the right situations to bring understanding and true care and healing in the hurt places.

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