Thanks for describing a piece of what CEN recovery feels like, Sally. Clearly, you’ve done some great work on yourself.

Dear Atonement, I encourage you to focus your energy on feeling your feelings and learning the feeling skills. That one process will affect everything you listed in a positive way.

I have
*most symptoms of Body Dysmorphia Disorder,
*feeling disgusting and dirty even after good showers almost every day,
*feeling of being-out-of breath especially when I must speak,with the result of talking with weaker voice and people find me more powerless than I am and this makes it harder to speak next time(Even hearing myself talking feels so awkward..)
*feeling of inability to focus on anything because time feels like running faster than light and one would stay behind by focusing on one thing only,
*feeling like I can’t connect with anyone and like I am the definition of not knowing how to talk to people,
*feeling like everything my mouth speaks is fake,
*feeling like I can’t think or remember anything lately,
*feeling like I can’t focus on reality while the traffic is much..

Any word by you about any of these would be much appreciated!!

Ann – I am in very much the same boat. I’m the youngest in a big family where negative emotions have never been allowed. There were no rules or help in regulating emotions. I ended up raising myself. I became very self-sufficient and “successful” in society’s view of success, but in my 40s I suffered a severe depression that led to an anxiety disorder. My family’s view was that I was “just trying to get attention”. It’s taken me several years (and Jonice’s book!) to realize that I’ve never felt validated by my family – especially my mother. From the outside our family looks so well adjusted, which just makes it so much harder. Nobody can believe that my mother could be so awful. I have had to distance myself. I’m getting better at not worrying about her (their) opinion of me, but it’s often challenging. It gets better with time and insight. Good luck!

I have read your book and it has opened my eyes. Your advice on overcoming CEN is so helpful. It’s definitely a process – 2 steps forward, 1 step back, but I’ve made so much progress. I developed an anxiety disorder in my 40s that was so perplexing to me. Now it makes so much sense. This is a short video that I found really helpful in understanding fear/anxiety. I thought this might be helpful for Paula. Thank you for all you do Jonice! https://youtu.be/4fPAANjtMlI

You’re welcome, Jesse! Keep up the good work.

Dear Alice,
I am also a twin. Being a twin complicates Cen. It is even harder to know what you want and need. The constant comparison, not growing up as your own person. I had a lot of resentment towards my twin. I had a vulnerable period in my life and I let her run my life and take the lead in everything. I had to fix this. I had therapy and I am working on CEN. My relationship with my twin is improving. I tell her more what I want and need. Good luck! Ursula

Dear Ann, I am in exactly the same situation. Hearing your story and Dr Jonice’s advice about it has really been empowering to know I am on the right track!

It’s been an incredibly painful journey but I am finally emerging as a single 33 year old ‘woman’ that has reclaimed her life. Thanks for the amazing work you are doing Dr Jonice.