Comments on: The Hallmarks Of A Resilient Relationship: Harmony Rupture Repair

By: Katie

Katie — Sat, 28 Apr 2018 02:58:37 +0000

In reply to Jonice Webb PhD. Would that be like role playing?

By: Katie

Katie — Fri, 27 Apr 2018 10:17:53 +0000

Love love this article! My last 4.5y on and off relationship ended mainly due to his by his own admission ‘I avoid confrontation/conflict at all costs’. He took the choice of preferring to see his relationship that he really wanted dissolve before his very eyes than risk the potential awkwardness, frustration anxiety that may have happened by facing his fear and joining me in repairing the ruptures.Too many unrepaired ruptures finally proved too much . It broke my heart but he refused every invite I made to work as a team and I had to finally admit defeat. Really look forward to your article on conflict avoidance.

By: HarmenB

HarmenB — Tue, 17 Apr 2018 07:44:19 +0000

In reply to Jonice Webb PhD. Dear Jonice, I am very much looking forward to this article. Thanks :-) Warm greetings, Harmen

By: Jonice Webb PhD

Jonice Webb PhD — Mon, 16 Apr 2018 18:23:39 +0000

In reply to MaryGrace. Dear MaryGrace, what a wonderful idea. You not only can use it with your therapist, I highly recommend it! That would be a really useful and powerful way to practice learning the skills involved. Thanks for sharing your idea with others!

By: MaryGrace

MaryGrace — Mon, 16 Apr 2018 16:56:18 +0000

Thank you. I’m wondering can I use this format with my therapist i.e. between myself and the therapist, when we have a rupture?
One may think it’s strange. But I don’t know how to do this in “the real world”. But the ruptures happen in my therapy because I sabotage all my healthy relationships. So maybe using this template with the therapist can help me learn?

By: Jonice Webb PhD

Jonice Webb PhD — Mon, 16 Apr 2018 12:30:56 +0000

In reply to HarmenB. Dear Harmen, that is a very good suggestion. I'll write an article on conflict avoidance so watch for it!

By: Jonice Webb PhD

Jonice Webb PhD — Mon, 16 Apr 2018 12:29:45 +0000

In reply to Claire. Hi Claire, I understand why you're suggesting that. But using "them" in that type of sentence isn't actually grammatically correct so I never do it. Instead, I alternate between he and she, him and her. Thanks for your comment!

By: HarmenB

HarmenB — Mon, 16 Apr 2018 10:49:56 +0000

Hello Jonice,

Thanks for another good post. One that I recognize much in.

I imagine you will have no dearth of blog subject matter to write about.

But, a suggestion: a follow-up post about CEN and conflict avoidance.

Because that is what I have learned from my parents: to avoid, to bury conflict, with the result that it simmers, only to erupt later. And with the result that my needs and emotions are not met, listened to and handled in a healthy way.

And, from what I read in other comments, books, and see in people around me, conflict avoidance is one of the main issues so many people struggle with, and it often is connected to something such as CEN.

Whether you take it up or not, I love your blog posts. They give me things to reflect upon. Looking forward to the next one!

Harmen

By: Claire

Claire — Mon, 16 Apr 2018 07:14:29 +0000

Great article. Just a little bit of feedback, in the “repair” section, it should state keep “them” happy rather than “him” happy.

By: Greg

Greg — Mon, 16 Apr 2018 02:46:22 +0000

In reply to Jonice Webb PhD. Thank you. I appreciate your response!