Comments on: Why is it So Hard to Be Assertive? 5 Skills You Can Learn

By: Jacqie

Jacqie — Wed, 27 Mar 2024 22:42:22 +0000

Thank you Jonice
I found your book last year and it has become my best friend. I am learning so much about the effects of CEN and the impact it has had on my adult life. It’s an ongoing learning journey and very tough at times. I do live with a lot of guilt, shame and unworthiness. Do you have any advice on how to deal with CEN in the work place? This is an area that I am struggling with at the moment. Not being able to speak up and the lack of confidence I have around people in a higher position. When I do find my voice I will go into a negative spiral and punish myself for rocking the boat. This is where I fawn so much. I’m exhausted with my over thinking, over working and my hyper vigilance. Once again thank you for all the help and support your book has highlighted and started to help me live a happier and healthier lifestyle.
Many thanks
Jac

By: Jonice

Jonice — Wed, 27 Mar 2024 17:29:04 +0000

In reply to Jacqie. Dear Jacqie, I suggest you think of this as a life problem, not just a work problem. As you work on finding and expressing your voice in general in your life, you also improve on it at work. If you can start valuing your emotions more, that is a great beginning.

By: Jacqie

Jacqie — Wed, 27 Mar 2024 08:12:45 +0000

By: Dr. Nikki

Dr. Nikki — Mon, 13 Nov 2023 23:35:52 +0000

In reply to Beth. Hi, my name is Dr. Nikki LeToya White I am a trauma-informed nutritionist and recovery coach at Spiced Life Conversation, LLC I am also a recovered codependent people-pleaser, and I'm in full remission of a sugar addiction and binge eating disorder with a sobriety date of August 2015 with its roots in adverse childhood experiences of abandonment and childhood emotional neglect trauma. Before I write my initial post I would like to thank Dr. Webb for all her work after reading her books I applied what I learned to my sobriety plan and the tools have helped me cope with my struggle with unworthiness, separation anxiety, and feelings of unwanted and inadequacies that cause me to escape with food and self abandon. Without them, I would not be able to help my clients today. Thank you.

By: Jonice

Jonice — Tue, 07 Nov 2023 13:38:53 +0000

In reply to Chris. Dear Chris, learning to be assertive is a complex skill that you can learn. Consider taking my online Find Your Voice Program which will teach you the skills in a direct way at your own pace.

By: Chris

Chris — Thu, 02 Nov 2023 22:28:05 +0000

I think I need to read your book a few more times. my reaction to situations where I need to be assertive is first want to yell like a marine corps drill instructor or to bargain and figure why I may be over reacting. uggh.

By: Jonice

Jonice — Mon, 07 Nov 2022 13:10:11 +0000

In reply to Caroline. That's wonderful, Caroline. I'm happy for you and I encourage you to keep on healing and learning!

By: Caroline

Caroline — Fri, 04 Nov 2022 14:33:56 +0000

Dear Dr Jonice this is such a great article. I have claimed to be assertive all my life but in truth I’ve been a bit of a fraud! Till now I didn’t really know what being assertive means. Instead I confront things but usually with with a) the wrong emotional language, b) too much emotional, or c) I leave it till later and then explode. (I learnt that last “trick” from my dear mum!)
So I am a work in progress and since reading your book Running on Empty and embarking on therapy (I’m UK based) at the tender age of 58, I am healing from CEN finally.
Thank you for all you are doing for your patients/clients and everyone who benefits from you amazing work.

By: Sandy

Sandy — Thu, 15 Jul 2021 18:05:21 +0000

I never know how I am feeling. I don’t know how to get in touch with my feelings. I never had any. I don’t know what they feel like. I know what feelings LOOK like; I just don’t know what they FEEL like. If I see someone cry because they are sad (like in a movie), I will cry too, but I’m only crying because they are. I’m 73 years old & I don’t know how to do this.

By: Beth

Beth — Mon, 14 Oct 2019 02:31:29 +0000

How do you build skills for assertiveness if when you try to speak up for yourself you become paralyzed with anxiety and unable to get any words out? Thanks.