Yes, I think (factor 1) psychopaths can see feelings, even if only cognitively, for example, they can see a child crying. But instead of empathising they think the child is being manipulative, for example, or calling attention to themselves when the psychopath wants to be busy doing something else more interesting to them at that moment.
The knock on effects of the biological impossibility of a meaningful, consistent and positive emotional connection with a parent are profound. I feel I have been truly heroic only to find out that my trip to hell and back was all for nothing, in the sense that nothing I could have done would have lit up the areas of a brain that were always going to be dark.

Dear Lori, I encourage you to go to an Al-Anon meeting. You are in a no-win situation dealing with an addicted family member and you will find excellent support and help there. Also, consider seeing a therapist to help you form some boundaries with your parents and hold them.

Interesting thoughts, Infran. Thanks for sharing!

Actually, from my own research, psycho/sociopaths *can* often trek what others are feeling, but as James Fallon (diagnosed and self-identifying “pro-social” psychopath) put it, the thing is that they just don’t care about it.

I think that’s probably the one of the biggest – if not THE biggest – misconceptions that we tend to make: that just because someone is aware of something means that they care about it, particularly where feelings are involved. With no disrespect intended, I honestly don’t understand why people make that conclusion. ^_^;

But honestly, think about it: for the ones that DO manipulate, how could they do so if they couldn’t tell what you were feeling? Or at least, I think it would put limits on *how* they could manipulate you.

Personally, I think the most important thing is whether someone – psycho/sociopath or otherwise – decides that people are important and deserve respect, and are aware of whether they treat them that way. (I have met people who go on about being nice to people, sincerely mean it, and then go against their own standards without being aware of it. o_o;; This might be more dangerous than whether or not they CARE.)

Dear Summer, I’m so glad to be helpful to you. Thanks for your comment!

Dear Laurie, it sounds like you’ve found a good therapist and done some good work. I’m glad to hear it and keep it up!

Thanks so much for sharing, M. I’m glad you have found some answers to help you and your mom in my book.

Dear Dorothy, keep protecting yourself, it’s all you can do.