I have a question though. Does CEN create more fear in adulthood?

For instance, I feel almost constant anxiety, fear and worry when my pet is sick. I can’t sleep or eat properly, and I just always think and think, and worry. In normal people, I don’t think they feel this level of anxiety. I’ve booked a vet appointment, but this experience has made me wonder why I’m so abnormal. I wish to feel like a secure adult who can tackle issues in life instead of feeling like a wreck.

Can anyone else relate?

Thanks !

“Fatal Flaw” is a feeling. It captures your own assumptions about yourself. That’s all it is. It’s not real, it’s a construction of your own making and you are in control of it.

I feel exactly the same Gloria, fine saying initial hello to people but anything past that is so hard, including with extended family. I don’t see how I can overcome this, my mind goes blank and I can barely string a sentence together. Then I feel ashamed. I force myself to do things but the same thing everytime, mind going blank and feel I have no personality that anyone would be interested in, always feel on the outside looking in. Being in this survival mode is so draining. Reading it’s a ‘fatal’ floor makes me feel even less hopeful I can ever heal in any meaningful way.

I also agree with Sheryl.
I didn’t realise that the only way out of social anxiety is forcing yourself to socialise. I used to socialise, but rarely got a good feeling and wasn’t liked as much as my friend – whoever it was – I was not likeable. Now I think it’s because I am not positive and run myself down. I started to do that as a defence, because i felt badly regarded by people at high school. I had already been run down a lot by my Mum and my Dad never said anything good about anyone. I found out later that he said good things about my sister, but nothing good to me. I have tried to find therapy, but therapists take the attitude that you have to do the work yourself, take responsibility for your life and realise I what you need to realise. So why do counsellors exist, exactly? I do not need them if i have to do everything myself. I have noticed that the specialists on your site charge a lot of money. I don’t know if they can help me, if the answer is to force yourself to socialise. Force yourself to work. Force yourself to do housework. Force yourself to give yourself everything you don’t get that you need? Force yourself to be grateful and happy for what you have? Force yourself to be positive. Do not tell people your feelings/problems. That’s what ordinary people say and that’s more advice than you get from counsellors or therapists.

Yes, you are capable, Kew. The key is to be persistent and don’t give up.

It is dire, Jan! It is dire and painful and is permanent until you face it and deal with it.

Dear Pamela, I urge you to find a professional CEN therapist to talk this through. You deserve some help and support to sort through this. Please go to the HELP tab of this website and look for a CEN therapist near you.

I have to say I agree with Sheryl. The name feels dire and permanent and painful, reminding me how terrible I often feel. Also, discussing how to overcome a “fatal flaw” seems oxymoronic and therefore, hard to believe is possible.