Running on Empty’s Table of Contents
Running on Empty:
Table of Contents
Introduction: Is This Book for You?
What is Emotional Neglect?
Does This Book Apply to You? Take This Questionnaire to Find Out
Part I: Running on Empty
Chapter 1: Why Wasn’t the Tank Filled?
Chapter 2: Twelve Ways to End Up Empty
Type 1: The Narcissistic Parent
Type 2: The Authoritarian Parent
Type 3: The Permissive Parent
Type 4: The Bereaved Parent: Divorced or Widowed
Type 5: The Addicted Parent
Type 6: The Depressed Parent
Type 7: The Workaholic Parent
Type 8: The Parent with a Special Needs Family Member
Type 9: The Achievement/Perfection Focused Parent
Type 10: The Sociopathic Parent
Type 11: Child as Parent
Type 12: The Well-Meaning-but-Neglected-Themselves Parent
Part II: Out of Fuel
Chapter 3: The Neglected Child, All Grown Up
- Feelings of Emptiness
- Counter-Dependence
- Unrealistic Self-Appraisal
- No Compassion for Self, Plenty for Others
- Guilt and Shame: What is Wrong With Me?
- Self-Directed Anger, Self-Blame
- Fatal Flaw (If People Really Know Me They Won’t Like Me)
- Difficulty Nurturing Self and Others
- Poor Self-Discipline
- Alexithymia: Poor Awareness and Understanding of Emotions
Chapter 4: Cognitive Secrets: The Special Problem of Suicidal Feelings
Part III: Filling the Tank
Chapter 5: How Change Happens
False Expectations
Avoidance
Discomfort
Chapter 6: Why Feelings Matter and What to Do with Them
- Understanding the Purpose and Value of Your Emotions
- Identifying and Naming Your Feelings
- Learning to Self-Monitor Your Feelings
- Accepting and Trusting Your Own Feelings
- Learning to Express Your Feelings in the Moment
- Recognizing, Understanding and Valuing Emotions in Relationships
Chapter 7: Self-Care
Part 1: Learning to Nurture Yourself
Step A. Putting Yourself First
Learning to say no
Asking for help
Learning your likes and dislikes
Prioritizing your own enjoyment
Step B. Eating
Step C. Exercise
Step D. Rest and Relaxation
Part 2: Improving Self-Discipline
Part 3:Self-Soothing
Part 4: Having Compassion for Yourself
Principle 1: The golden rule in reverse
Principle 2: Become aware of damaging self-directed anger
Principle 3: Give yourself the benefit of your own wisdom and compassion
Principle 4: Develop an inner loving-but-firm voice
Principle 5: Allow yourself to be human
Chapter 8: Ending the Cycle: Giving Your Child What You Never Got
Your Parental Guilt
The Changes You Have Made So Far
Identify Your Own Specific Parenting Challenges
Chapter 9: For the Therapist
Research
Attachment Theory
Emotional Intelligence
Identification of Emotional Neglect
Treatment
Summary
Conclusions
Resources for Recovery
Assertiveness
Relationship Improvement
Feeling Word List
References