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Cynthia Kay - January 12, 2019 Reply

I am so glad to have stumbled across CEN as it “explains” me perfectly. I am 61 years old, divorced, very lonely and was subjected to CEN for 39 years until my mother died in 1996. I am also a HSP – double whamy! I bought the book right away – about a year ago – but . . . I’m scared to read it. I’m afraid i’ll see myself and feel worse or that the “fixes” won’t work and my depression will get even worse (already pretty bad even on 2 meds). Any ideas on how to overcome this? There are no CEN therapist within 200 miles. I’ve emailed a couple on the list and heard nothing back.

Lucy A - October 11, 2018 Reply

Wow, reading about CEN explains ‘me’, perfectly. I have had that exact thought of feeling there was something wrong with me but not knowing what. Ever since childhood I have struggled forming relationships and thought I was just a bit odd. My father had many narcissistic qualities and so CEN explains everything perfectly. Thank you for highlighting and shining a light on this issue.

Jgrohl - September 24, 2018 Reply

Hi Dr Jonice,
I have been supporting a boy from age 13-19 with CEN it was going really well until this year. My daughter rejected his romantic advance and he changed dramatically. He will not see us and has been behaving awfully towards me. I am devestated. He says he will talk when he is ready but i am so hurt and frustrated that i have lashed out a few times and feel guilty. How do i deal with this. I guess my fear is losing him as someone in our lives he says we wont but he is like a son to me and i miss him terribly. He is punishing me i think because he knows i love him very much.

    Jonice - September 25, 2018 Reply

    Dear Jgrohl, this is far too complex a problem for me to help you with online. Please do see a therapist who can get all the history and help you through this.

Nessa - May 13, 2018 Reply

Ive read your book running on empty. How do you deal with intrusion of emotions and thoughts to the degree you self harm just to shut them up. They become so confusing and overwhelming I cant deal with them. Ive been told as a child and as an adult in a church that basically my feelings are incorrect. I know now my sense about a situation was correct, but I still have the messages running in my head…and Id rather shut them up than feel them.

AC - May 8, 2018 Reply

I realised and posted afew years ago about the trouble of living as an adult post CEN.
As a fairly competent scientist in those few years my skills have become more in demand, and as a result I am busy enough to know I just can’t keep going like this; yet saying no when you could help others is so hard.
To make things harder I’m now in the first meaningful relationship I’ve let myself be in (as running away comes naturally when you’ve learnt not to trust), and explaining why saying no is so hard just seems to be incomprehensible to someone more normal. How do you go about explaining it to someone, that you are trying to get a better balance, but that you are just not good at putting your own needs first; and how can you let people you could help down without feeling guilty?

    Jonice - May 9, 2018 Reply

    Dear AC, you don’t owe an explanation at all. But if it makes you feel bad, you can say, “I’m working on paying more attention to my own needs. My impulse is to always say yes but it’s wearing me down. I’m sorry but I can’t.” Or some variation using your own words.

inez fitria - April 30, 2018 Reply

hi Dr. jonice, let me first introduce my self, i`m inez from indonesia, I’ve read your very outstanding books (running on empty & second, running on empty no more) thank you so much for healing me, your books is really helping me to understand my self. i trough bad childhood and ever to think to commit suicide but after reading your books finally i can analyze what happened. so finally i got to stage where i am trying to forgive and make peace with my parents, but it`s really hard to do that and i just to figured out that is not fully my parents mistake because may them just inhereted from their parents too but this hypothesis can not be accepted by me because my grandparents is really lovable people especially to all their grandkids and my parents grew up in good enviroment too. please help me to figure out this case,
thank you so much Dr. jonice

best regard
inez

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